What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
The strawberry was very good at racing because he was always juiced up before a race.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up? It blossoms.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
What's the difference between a bipolar person and a loft full of lemons?
One's a bit erratic and the other's a bitter attic.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What does a dragon eat with his soup? Firecrackers.
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves
But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg.
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
Q: What’s a nectarine?
A: A peach with balding problems.
What happened to the pineapple who was turned down for a date? Crushed pineapple.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
What do you call a nut with facial hair?
A mustachio.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
Why does it take a while before a peach leaves a fruit basket? They have to give a goodbye peach first.
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
The only type of cookies a cookie monster loves to eat during Halloween is Ghoul Scout Cookies.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
So I was cleaning my spice cabinet...
and now I have a lot of thyme on my hands!
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Whenever I give my daughter cherries, she stuffs them in the chair
Now we call them chairries
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
Go to BabaMail
