Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of lettuce?
Ennnnnnndddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvee.
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
How does a pineapple answer the phone? “Yel-low?”
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
In some way, being a bowl of soup is like being a man. You are only blown when you are hot!
What happened to the cheery that showed up for the tomato auditions? He was called an imposter.
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
What does a pizza say when it introduces itself to you?
Slice to meet you.
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?
Desserted
He is a humble husband. Unlike others, he never blows his crumpet after making breakfast for his wife everyday.
What do peach soldiers say to each other before they are sent into combat? – “Good luck and make sure you come back in one peach!”
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
Pumpkin Spice season is finally here, better latte than never.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
Avocabros.
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
What do ghoul scouts hope to achieve by selling halloween cookies? They hope to make a good first impression.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
If we cross lobster bisque and Elon Musk, what we have is a soup-er car
What do you get when you hghyphotocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
What is the most sophisticated class of bread?
The upper crust.
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
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