The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up!
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat.
Q: Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
A: It was da’ bomb.
How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
If a crocodile makes shoes, what can you make out of a banana?
Slippers!
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
How do you know it's cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
Who's a pickle's favorite artist?
Salvador Dilli.
What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won Ton.
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
The bag of flour was so confused.He thought that he saw his friend the loaf yeast-erday.
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
My girlfriend was seasoning the soup. I asked, "What spice is that?", and she replied "Sage".
I said, "Sounds wise".
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
What happens when you rub two oranges together?
You get Pulp Friction.
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
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