I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits.
He loves being in the limelight.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make ? Slippers
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
What do you call a fruit that doesn't take s**t from anyone? The top banana.
Q: What’s a nectarine?
A: A peach with balding problems.
What do you give a horse that has just won the Kentucky Derby? An Appletini.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
How do you know you in "love" with spicy food? After getting to third basil.
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
If a crocodile makes shoes, what can you make out of a banana?
Slippers!
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
What do you call a pine-nut in an apple costume? A pine-apple.
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
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