What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of lettuce?
Ennnnnnndddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvee.
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog
And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
Do not eat that alphabet soup, or you will have a vowel movement.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes!
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
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