We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
What does a dragon eat with his soup? Firecrackers.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
My friend: *Throws salt at me*
Me: Don’t assault me!
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
Who is the superhero who loves to have soup all the time? Souper-man.
In some way, being a bowl of soup is like being a man. You are only blown when you are hot!
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
I didn’t have a map of the corn maze, so I had to play it by ear.
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco? He pulled a muscle
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
"I mead more wine."
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What happened to the pig who liked pineapple? He turned into a porky-pine!
"Time to wine down."
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
What do you call a pine-nut in an apple costume? A pine-apple.
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
The perfect name for a sad and morose strawberry is a blueberry.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
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