How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
Pizza: the only time top-less isn't fun
When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
What kind of evidence can a donut not take to trial?
Anecdoughtal evidence.
Q: What’s a nectarine?
A: A peach with balding problems.
Talking at the local chocolate factory is frowned on. When I’m there, I need to wispa.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice.
Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
Everybody romaine calm.
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).
What kind of face cream does a strawberry buys?
Blackhead removal cream and scrub
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
It was the pie piper who had led the strawberries to the bakery.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?
“They’re seedy.”
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
I was sitting in the toilet at Taco Bell and it reminded me of my divorce.
It was extremely messy and involved a lot of paperwork.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
It is a bad film because good ones tend to have created atop day-old soup.
In some way, being a bowl of soup is like being a man. You are only blown when you are hot!
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