What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
Why did the strawberries turned red? Because they saw the salad dressing.
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines.
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
What does a mommy cherry say to her children? I love you cherry much.
The peach couple from school is totally in love. They seem so perfect for peach other.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
Why does Satan not eat the bread part of the pizza?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
Me: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
What does a pizza say when it introduces itself to you?
Slice to meet you.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
What happened to the zombie that made him visit the doctor? He had a crummy feeling.
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
I saw a fruit running from the police recently
It was a water felon.
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
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