What a spud muffin.
Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.
Why did the hummus blush?
Because it saw a chickpea!
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
HELP! It's a taco emergency!
Dial 9 Juan Juan!
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
I was throwing oranges at tropical birds. One of them caught one then said: “Toucan play that game”
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
I saw a real rob-bbery today. It happened right before my berry eyes.
Hey you like cherry preserves ?
Never mind, its probably not your jam
What fruit loves chocolate?
A cocoa nut.
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.
My girlfriend spilt hummus all over her...
Can't believe that chick pea'd herself.
"Love the wine you're with."
What is the national fruit of Afghanistan?
Talibanana.
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
What kind of evidence can a donut not take to trial?
Anecdoughtal evidence.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
I asked the Korean grocer for something to spice up my meals, but I think I got a raw dill.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
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