What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
"Partners in wine."
Do you hear about the pineapple and honeydew who try to get married? The court says that they cant – eloupe.
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.
The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
What do red berries say during the season they love best? Cherry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
"Say you'll be wine."
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
My Dad told me why Busch is the only brand of beer he ever drinks.
"It's the only beer that says it's name when you open it."
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
Who is the corniest baseball player of all time?
Ty Cobb!
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
What do fruits do when they are avoiding a problem? They cherry their heads in the sand.
Why did I start making a cherry pie? Bake-cause I love it.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
I didn’t have a map of the corn maze, so I had to play it by ear.
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.
I seem to have run out of tea...
What a catastrotea.
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