What’s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
The soup that my mom made for dinner healed my flu in a day. It was almost soup-er natural.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
I love you from my head tomato
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
Why do you always bring a bag of chips to a party? In queso emergency.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Why shouldn't you buy illegal seasonings? It's always a shady dill.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
How do the New England Patriots eat their soup? In a Super Bowl.
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
Why did the ice cream truck break down?
There was a rocky road.
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver!
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
So yesterday I saw a bottle of ketchup steal a bottle of mustard
'Twas saucepicious
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
What is the best part of Valentine’s day?
The day after, when all the chocolate goes on sale.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon!”
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
I love you a tot!
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden.
I can’t help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars… snickers
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Usain bolt must be a fruit
Have you seen that mango?
Why does the lettuce always win the bodybuilding competition?
Cuz it starts a head and is usually shredded.
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
It’s time to think outside the pizza box.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
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