I saw a pun on chocolate bars but it wasn’t that fun
So I just snickered.
What do horses like to put on their egg salad sandwiches?
MayoNAYS!
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
What did the baby corn call his dad?
Pop corn!
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
What do peach soldiers say to each other before they are sent into combat? – “Good luck and make sure you come back in one peach!”
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,
About Six-tea years to date,
Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,
her cupious amazing traits
Her balanced demeanour
Her Kindness and (earl) grace,
rooibost sense of humour,
too many to name in this teany space,
to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,
let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,
While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,
It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
What is a ghosts favorite soup? Scream of Broccoli.
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes!
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
My girlfriend said we aren't getting married until she has a pear shape
It's the reason we cantaloupe
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
My wife told my four year old daughter that she couldn’t use her plastic IKEA knife to slice mangos.
I said “Yeah kid, that’s just not going to cut it.”
What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
I hope for world peas.
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long.
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
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