I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
Cow's that eat strawberries give strawberry milk.
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Why didn't the watermelon marry the strawberry?
They cantaloupe.
What’s Another Name For iPhone Chargers?
Apple Juice.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pineapple.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Do you know what is the most favourite fruit in the United States? – Mmm peach!
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon.
You can never make a crumble with just 3.14 strawberries because that would make a pi.
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
There’s muffin I wouldn’t do for breakfast.
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
.
Why did the peach go to the therapist? It was in a pit of despair.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
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