I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
Chopping down other people’s cherry trees is definitely frowned upon. However, you likely won’t get into too much trouble for it – as long as you keep hold of the axe!
Why would an oreo cookie need to visit a dentist? To get a filling replacement.
What do you call two cookies from the same cookie sheet who fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
What type of bar is kid friendly?
A chocolate bar.
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why do people love juicy pineapple? Because it “ripens” their day.
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? Pulled-Pork
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
What do you find if you hang from a cherry tree for hours and hours? You find that your arms get sore.
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
What’s the only fruit that never gets lonely?
A pear.
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
Keep calm and carrot on.
This foundation is rock salad.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
Why did the peach go to the therapist? It was in a pit of despair.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
How did the Iceland repel the bananas attack? By freezing them
What's a vampire's most favorite fruit? It must be a neck-tarine peach.
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
When would an apple be not an apple? When it is a pineapple!
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
What did the Catholic Nectarine Priest say to the church? Peach be with you. It was a normal thing to hear from the pul-pit.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
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