What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
They're not going to grow bananas any longer.
Apparently, they're long enough already.
A turkey's favorite dessert is a strawberry gobbler.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
What kind of fish is only made of salt.
A tu-na.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
What do you call a fruity pop star? Katy Peary.
I saw a fruit running from the police recently
It was a water felon.
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
I was sitting in the toilet at Taco Bell and it reminded me of my divorce.
It was extremely messy and involved a lot of paperwork.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than a pile of poop?
It’s just plain common scents.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
Why did the kid keep falling off his bike? It had a banana seat.
How can you make a computer system cry? Delete his cookies.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What is the cherry fruit's favorite American talkshow? The Cherry Springer Show of course!
Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag?
Benedict Arnold Palmer
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
“Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)”
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
What do you get when you hghyphotocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
Predictive Text
It's the scurge of the hummus rice.
Why do girls scouts sell cookies? They wanna make a sweet first impression.
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
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