They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
What do prison tennis matches and strawberry jam have in common?
Cons-serve
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits.
He loves being in the limelight.
The cookie monster couldn’t make his bed, why? Because he couldn’t find his cookie sheets.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
Did you hear about the fruit who was convicted of armed robbery?
“Now he’s a waterfelon.”
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
What do fruits do when they are really really afraid? They run away as fast as their legs can cherry them.
We failed to find the dog's bone because the owner berried it.
The only type of cookies a cookie monster loves to eat during Halloween is Ghoul Scout Cookies.
What did the cherry say to the cherry pie? I really crust you.
Why should you make a cherry pie for someone that you miss? Because absence bakes the heart grow fonder.
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
Why shouldn't you buy illegal seasonings? It's always a shady dill.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Walnut.
Walnut who?
I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing? What else but Peelings?
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
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