Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
How far can a mango,
If he's got a license but doesn't avocado ?
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Why do people love juicy pineapple? Because it “ripens” their day.
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
Why isn’t there an organization like Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because nobody wants to quit.
When is a vegetable also a nut?
When it’s a corn!
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
What kind of candy never arrives on time? Chocolate
Apples are red. Grapes are blue. Pineapples are sweet. And so are you.
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
Did you know there’s an app for corn growers?
It’s made in Sili-corn Valley!
Where were the first orange trees planted?
“In Orange County.”
I love you from my head tomato
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
What do you call a pig thats wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
Is an argument between two vegans, still called a beef?
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
What happened to the pig who liked pineapple? He turned into a porky-pine!
What is the suckiest fruit?
A strawberry.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
Pre pear yourself for a bad pun.
Dad: Is that a pear?
*Dad points to pear on the kitchen counter.
Child: Yea...
Dad: Then why is there only one?
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Chopping down other people’s cherry trees is definitely frowned upon. However, you likely won’t get into too much trouble for it – as long as you keep hold of the axe!
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