What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long.
Why does Britain like tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
Why do bananas have to wear sunscreen?
Because they peel.
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
What do you call corn that joins the army?
Kernel.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What did the ice cream cone write on his valentine card?
You make me melt.
"What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?" "I want you inside me!"
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
"On cloud wine."
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
We’re a perfect mash.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
The man on the table found hair in his soup. He said in rage "I will take the chef to soup-reme court".
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
You and I make a deluxe combo.
What did the corn say when it was being followed?
“I’m being stalked!”
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
"Great minds drink alike."
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
Why did the principal bring Clam Chowder to school? For the Soup-erintendent.
Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.
I think that's bananas!
Where's a pickle's favorite place to go in London?
Pickle-dilly Square.
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
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