If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!
I saw a road sign the other day that said "Dip In Road"
I turned the corner and drove straight into a load of hummus
HELP! It's a taco emergency!
Dial 9 Juan Juan!
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
Why do wookies love chocolate chip cookies? Because they are chewy.
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What soup killed Rob Stark? Italian Wedding Massacre.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A tea party.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
What did the pizza say to the delivery guy?
“You don’t pepper-own me.”
…and what did the delivery guy say in reply?
“Hey now, don’t get saucy.”
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy's Kisses!
I don't like cutting up a peach. I think it's because of the pits.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
I can't get my wife to try Mediterranean food.
She doesn't like hummus, which is a naan-starter.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
How can you make a computer system cry? Delete his cookies.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
How do you make dog bread? You use collie flour.
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
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