How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.