Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
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