I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
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