What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
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