Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
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