What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
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