How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
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