How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
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