She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.