What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
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