How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!