What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
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