Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.