A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
How do you make dog bread? You use collie flour.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
You knead me in your loaf.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.