Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
How do you make dog bread? You use collie flour.
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
The bag of flour was so confused.He thought that he saw his friend the loaf yeast-erday.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
You knead me in your loaf.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!