I yam what I yam.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
Time to celery-brate.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
Everybody romaine calm.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
This foundation is rock salad.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
Keep calm and carrot on.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
What a spud muffin.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
I love you from my head tomato
I hope for world peas.
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