What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
I love you from my head tomato
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
I think therefore I yam.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
What a spud muffin.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Everybody romaine calm.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.