Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
I yam what I yam.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
I hope for world peas.
I think therefore I yam.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
I love you from my head tomato
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
This foundation is rock salad.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
Everybody romaine calm.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
Time to celery-brate.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
What a spud muffin.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
Keep calm and carrot on.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
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