What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
This foundation is rock salad.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
I hope for world peas.
I love you from my head tomato
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
I yam what I yam.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
Everybody romaine calm.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
I think therefore I yam.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
What a spud muffin.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
Time to celery-brate.
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