Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
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