During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
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