What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
Go to BabaMail
