Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
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