What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
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