For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
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