What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
Go to BabaMail
