Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
The squirrel’s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
What do you call a nut with facial hair?
A mustachio.
What is a walnut’s favorite Christmas play? The Nutcracker.
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder nut milk.
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
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