What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
What do vets call a paralyzed squirrel? A busted nut.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
Which nut is worth the most?
A cash-ew.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
Things don’t always pine out the way we want them to, but we can-nut give up!
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
Mr. and Mrs. Peanut finally got married and tied the nut.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
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