What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.