Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
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