What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
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