Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
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