Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
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