There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
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