What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
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