What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.
If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!
Not every legume can be a nut.
But a pea can.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
How do astronauts eat their ice cream? In floats!
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
What did the salt say when the phosphate asked to bond with it?
"NaCl ater."
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
"I mead more wine."
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied
“It’s easy peasy lemon squeegee.”
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
I seem to have run out of tea...
What a catastrotea.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
An Native American drank 100 cups of tea.
Next day they found him dead in his tea pee.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate his soup before it was cool.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
When I was learning how to cook soups, my mum asked me to follow my instinct. She asked me to go with the pho.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle? – An Orange County Chopper.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
How can you make a computer system cry? Delete his cookies.
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
A person who only loves himself and waffles in the entire world is an Eggomaniac.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
The plural of mango should be changed to mengo
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
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