Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
They ketchup.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
We’re a perfect mash.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? Because they peel!
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What type of bar is kid friendly?
A chocolate bar.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
"It's wine o'clock."
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Johnny Appleseed.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets Jalapeno business.
I loved the soup that they served at the local restaurant yesterday. It was simply pho-nomenol.
Shucking takes lots of corn-centration.
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What do you call a fruity pop star? Katy Peary.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
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