How do you get a musician off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
Talking at the local chocolate factory is frowned on. When I’m there, I need to wispa.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice.
People were really sour about it.
The perfect name for a sad and morose strawberry is a blueberry.
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
No one laughed at my soup puns. I said "When I crack a soup joke, everyone is soup-posed to laugh".
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
How far can a mango,
If he's got a license but doesn't avocado ?
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
One day, a young weasel went to the bar. The bartender took one look at him and says, “You are under-aged. I can’t serve you beer.” The weasel asks, “What can I have?”
The bartender replies, “I have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.”
“Pop!” goes the weasel.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
What do you call really scared pasta?
Chicken noodles.
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
I can't get my wife to try Mediterranean food.
She doesn't like hummus, which is a naan-starter.
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? The banana was not peeling very well.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
Did you hear about the new watermelon powered cars set to come out next year? Yeah, it’s too bad you only get a water-melon the gallon.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
What’s a balanced diet like?
A slice of cake in each hand!
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
What do you call a single, solitary kernel of corn?
A unicorn!
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
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