What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
How much does a corn flake weigh?
1 Kelloggram.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
What do you call a field full of epileptic lettuce ?
Seizure Salad
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
My wife was trying to feed our son a pear, and he was refusing.
I said, Good news. Our son is immune to pear pressure.
Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
"I just want some peach and quiet!," said the orange.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
Why did the kid keep falling off his bike? It had a banana seat.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
“Preparing.”
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
"It's wine o'clock."
When I was learning how to cook soups, my mum asked me to follow my instinct. She asked me to go with the pho.
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are on the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
I thought about making a new condiment that was a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
But then I decided the name KetchTard would be pretty MustUp.
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