This might sound corny, but I think you’re a-maize-ing.
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
Whenever the peach father gets mad at his son, he just screams loudly: “You are the son of a peach!”
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
Did you hear about the corn stalk that changed careers?
He went into a different field!
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
A musical strawberry jam that knows how to play the trumpet is called Tooty fruity.
What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat.
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
“When you eat a watermelon!”
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
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