Why does the jellybean go to school? Because he wants to become a smartie.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
How do you know it's cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
Why did the principal bring Clam Chowder to school? For the Soup-erintendent.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
Did I invite you to the Barbecue?
Then why are you all up in my grill?
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
What type of keys does the gingerbread man unlock his door with? cook-keys!
Some cherry puns are just pit-i-ful.
The squirrel’s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
What do citrus fruits use to get dates?
Pickup limes.
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
The only type of cookies a cookie monster loves to eat during Halloween is Ghoul Scout Cookies.
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
What can you only drink in the Middle East? Dust-Tea.
The peach sports organization rended a commercial peach for a game of peach ball.
What do dogs love to eat for breakfast?
woofles
Pumpkin Spice season is finally here, better latte than never.
What drink scares defense lawyers? Guilt-Tea.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?
He had a tip off.
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
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