What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
What did the orange say before jumping into the juicer?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
What do vets call a paralyzed squirrel? A busted nut.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
Today, I am eating a bun filled with pineapple and ham for my dinner. That is Hawaii roll.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
What did the therapist say to the pineapple? Look on the bright side.
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.
Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
What is the national fruit of Afghanistan?
Talibanana.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice.
Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a'la mode.
Why did the cookie monster rob the keebler elves? Because they had a lot of dough.
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
How can we tell the difference between a can of beef soup and a can of pork soup? Just read the labels.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
The strawberry was very good at racing because he was always juiced up before a race.
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
What do you call a field full of epileptic lettuce ?
Seizure Salad
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
What would Santa’s name be if he wore orange instead of red?
Fanta Claus.
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
Go to BabaMail
