What's a baby gherkin's favorite TV channel?
Pickleodeon.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
A thesaurus' favorite thing to eat for breakfast is a synonym roll.
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
Who’s an apple’s favorite relative?
Granny.
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $2.50. Deer nuts are under a buck
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
My banana grandad got in an accident last year, he bruised like a peach!
What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple. What did the apple say to the apple pie? "You've got some crust."
Why are lemons safer than limes?
There’s no such thing as lemon’s disease.
What's grandma's favorite fruit?
a Ba-nana.
What kind of evidence can a donut not take to trial?
Anecdoughtal evidence.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
"Rosé all day."
What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
“When you eat a watermelon!”
The perfect name for a sad and morose strawberry is a blueberry.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
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