What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
It was a cider attack.
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
Why do kids love to clean out the cookie jar for Halloween? To make room for Halloween candy.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
When would an apple be not an apple? When it is a pineapple!
This foundation is rock salad.
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy's Kisses!
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
My girlfriend spilt hummus all over her...
Can't believe that chick pea'd herself.
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice.
She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.
Do you hear about the pineapple and honeydew who try to get married? The court says that they cant – eloupe.
My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night
It was not real food, it was an impasta.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? First, invade ze kitchen.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
The bread actor was sad because he lost a juicy roll.
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Did I invite you to the Barbecue?
Then why are you all up in my grill?
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
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