How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Did you know there’s an app for corn growers?
It’s made in Sili-corn Valley!
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
Do you know what firemen often add to their soup? – They add firecrackers.
Which language do oranges use to speak to each other? Mandarin.
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
Nut cookies are the best gifts for nutty friends.
What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
"You had me at merlot."
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
What does a dragon eat with his soup? Firecrackers.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
My friend: *Throws salt at me*
Me: Don’t assault me!
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
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