What kind of keys do kids like to carry? Cookies!
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Why does the cookie monster fear the gingerbread man? Because he’s one tough cookie.
I'm going to start a hummus brand that comes in really difficult to open containers.
It's gonna be called 'hummus posta eat this'.
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
Q: How do two cherries make up after an argument?
A: They cherry the hatchet.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
The peach sports organization rended a commercial peach for a game of peach ball.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.
ALDI’s nuts.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin!
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
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