Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
Husband: "These pears a perfect right now."
Me: "Would you say they're 'pear-fect'?"
What did the Soup Nazi say to the canine? What Soup Dawg.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
I asked the Korean grocer for something to spice up my meals, but I think I got a raw dill.
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What kind of a key opens a banana? A monkey!
My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice.
She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
In some way, being a bowl of soup is like being a man. You are only blown when you are hot!
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? Edam and Eve.
Who is the funniest fruit around? Cherry Seinfeld.
What do you call 2 fruits that can't get married?
Cantelopes.
How many grams of protein are in an apple pi? 3.14159265
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
He is a humble husband. Unlike others, he never blows his crumpet after making breakfast for his wife everyday.
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
Why did the man continue to eat whole peaches? Because he has a bottomless pit.
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
How do you make a mango shake?
You take it to a scary movie.
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
She's a unicorn.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
"No wine left behind."
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
Why did the hummus blush?
Because it saw a chickpea!
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
A turkey's favorite dessert is a strawberry gobbler.
Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
What is a strawberry that likes to spin called? A berry-go-round.
When the chef asked me how I would like my soup, I said "I would like minestrone".
Go to BabaMail
