Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
Do you know what firemen often add to their soup? – They add firecrackers.
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Before I ducked out to the shops, my wife asked me to put ketchup on the shipping list.
Now I can't read it.
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
The oranges have great eyesight because they always keep their eyes peeled.
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
How good is a Coney Island gyro? Feta than se*.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
Why did the watermelon go crazy?
“He lost his rind.”
What can you only drink in the Middle East? Dust-Tea.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
What’s sweet and goes woof?
Pupcakes!
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
What do you call people avoiding healthy fats?
Avocadonts.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
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