I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,
About Six-tea years to date,
Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,
her cupious amazing traits
Her balanced demeanour
Her Kindness and (earl) grace,
rooibost sense of humour,
too many to name in this teany space,
to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,
let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,
While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,
It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
Why is a pineapple so attractive? Because it keeps its juices flowing.
The plural of mango should be changed to mengo
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? CHICKEN CAESER SALAD.
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
The oranges have great eyesight because they always keep their eyes peeled.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up? It blossoms.
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
What did the therapist say to the pineapple? Look on the bright side.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
when I smelled breakfast in the morning it was bacon me eggcited.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
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