What happens when you buy too much ice cream?
Breyer’s remorse.
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
What did the corn say when it was being followed?
“I’m being stalked!”
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice.
Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
How do astronauts eat their ice cream? In floats!
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
How can you make a computer system cry? Delete his cookies.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
"What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?" "I want you inside me!"
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Q: Why does the cherry have a hard time getting along with others?
A: It has crust issues.
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
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