What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
That's the paunch-line.
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
What did the corn say when it was being followed?
“I’m being stalked!”
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? CHICKEN CAESER SALAD.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
My wife's been on a banana diet.
She hasn't lost any weight, but you should see her climb trees now!
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
I tried to give the guy who came to clean our septic tank out a beer. He said, “I’m not the type of guy who drinks on the job.”
I said, “Yeah, you wouldn’t want you’re boss to catch you sh*t faced.”
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
How good is a Coney Island gyro? Feta than se*.
I squeezed a lemon on my wife's lap two hours ago...
She's been a sourpuss about it ever since.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
How did the corn farmer get to be so successful?
He corn-ered the market!
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes?
To make them light and fluffy.
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
The farmer went nuts because he was told it’s more profitable that way compared to other crops.
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
Where did Vegans come from?
Hummus Sapiens
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
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