The plural of mango should be changed to mengo
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
What do you call a fruit that doesn't take s**t from anyone? The top banana.
What does a pizza say when it introduces itself to you?
Slice to meet you.
Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought some bananas? They were empty.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
What do you get when you photocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
What makes the soup of a dragon so delicious is the addition of firecrackers.
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
How should you live your life? By seasoning the moment.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Why does Britain like tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
How far can a mango,
If he's got a license but doesn't avocado ?
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
Cherries go all out when they go to festivals. You’ll probably see loads of them, running around in pie-dyed shirts.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Why do girls scouts sell cookies? They wanna make a sweet first impression.
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
What do you call a field full of epileptic lettuce ?
Seizure Salad
I came across a man who was eating strawberries at the bank. He told me he wanted to eat rich food.
I hope for world peas.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
Q: Why did the fruit go to the salon?
A: To peach her hair blonde.
Where do bugs go to watch the big game? Apple-Bees.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
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