What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
What do lawyers snack on?
Plea-nuts.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
Wondering about a peach's favorite movie? Well it has to be the 'King's Peach'.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
What do you drink with the Queen of England? Royal-Tea.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
Why did one melon break up with the other melon?
“He didn’t know water problem was.”
I can’t help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars… snickers
Cherries go all out when they go to festivals. You’ll probably see loads of them, running around in pie-dyed shirts.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
Go to BabaMail
