What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
I made some fish tacos last night....
But they just ignored them and swam away.
"Here for the right riesling."
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What do you call an anthropomorphic animal blended in ice cream?
A McFurry
How can you make a computer system cry? Delete his cookies.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle? – An Orange County Chopper.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
Where do pepperonis go on vacation?
The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
My friend: *Throws salt at me*
Me: Don’t assault me!
The soup that she cooks is so thick that the kitchen would go around when she stirs it.
My local ice cream man was found dead in his garage covered in strawberry sauce and hundreds and thousands.
Police believe he topped himself.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
Singular: One mango
Plural: Two menwent
The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”, and the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said it was jammed.
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Why didn’t the pineapple fit in with the other fruit? Because it’s rough around the edges.
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
Q: Why did the cherry stop in the middle of the road?
A: It ran out of juice.
I'm the pun King of Halloween.
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
How many tacos can an octopus eat?
Ten tacos.
Why was the peach so sad at the funeral? It left a deep pit in its heart.
What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other? Cut it out!
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
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