What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? A hot, diggety dog.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
I had lunch once with a chess player at a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him 3 hours to pass me the salt.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
I'm going to cashew.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
My wife told my four year old daughter that she couldn’t use her plastic IKEA knife to slice mangos.
I said “Yeah kid, that’s just not going to cut it.”
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
I grew up in a really rough area. I would walk out of the house and other kids would leap out and sprinkle me with cream, cherries and shaved chocolate. Life was tough, growing up in the gateau.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
Did you hear about the new watermelon powered cars set to come out next year? Yeah, it’s too bad you only get a water-melon the gallon.
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
What's grandma's favorite fruit?
a Ba-nana.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
I hope for world peas.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
"Love the wine you're with."
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
What do fruits do when they are avoiding a problem? They cherry their heads in the sand.
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
I was throwing oranges at tropical birds. One of them caught one then said: “Toucan play that game”
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
I loved the soup that they served at the local restaurant yesterday. It was simply pho-nomenol.
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