What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
I was throwing oranges at tropical birds. One of them caught one then said: “Toucan play that game”
What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone? Alice Scooper.
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
We’re a perfect mash.
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
After the death of his wife a few years, the pineapple stands on the graveyard and says “I pine for you, sweetheart!”
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What kind of evidence can a donut not take to trial?
Anecdoughtal evidence.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
Did you hear about the lowest grade of steak? It's where the rubber meats the road.
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
What is a dessert called with an extra chromosome?
A chocolate downie.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
What do you call bananas who are friends with monkeys? A bunch of idiots.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
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