A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
Did you know that if you poured salt on a cat's tail it will fall off?
It's true! And if you pour pepper on a cat's tail, the pepper will also fall off.
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
My decision to become a Hindu was a missed steak
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer?
Because his wife told him to ice it!
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Walnut.
Walnut who?
I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
Did you hear about the flatmate who woke up to a spicy toothbrush? He had it cumin.
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
Why did the pineapple’s phone die? It needed juice.
Singular: One mango
Plural: Two menwent
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
What do you get when you fling salt in a tavern?
A barnacle (a.k.a. bar-na-cl).
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
Me: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
This might sound corny, but I think you’re a-maize-ing.
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