What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
"I make pour decisions."
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.
It was called He-Brew.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
What's grandma's favorite fruit?
a Ba-nana.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
What happens when you buy too much ice cream?
Breyer’s remorse.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
Why did black chocolate cry over his wine glass?
Because it was his bitter half.
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
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