The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
You and I make a deluxe combo.
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
Cherries are the worst soft fruits to watch scary movies with. They spend the whole time hiding behind a cushion as they are cherrified.
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
Why was the salad late to the dinner party?
He was waiting for his wife to get dressing.
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
Why does it take a while before a peach leaves a fruit basket? They have to give a goodbye peach first.
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
When the giant cannibals started to soak me in vinegar, I'd had enough.
"Why don't you pickle someone your own size?" I shouted.
I tried to give the guy who came to clean our septic tank out a beer. He said, “I’m not the type of guy who drinks on the job.”
I said, “Yeah, you wouldn’t want you’re boss to catch you sh*t faced.”
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
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