My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
Did you know you can make a really good music player out of a cherry cake? It’s called a gateau blaster.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Q: Why did the fruit finish her homework so quickly?
A: Because the homework was a peach of cake.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
Mom: Why did you shave the peaches!
Dad: The recipe asked for nectarines.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
I saw a road sign the other day that said "Dip In Road"
I turned the corner and drove straight into a load of hummus
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
A man likes sending random stuff to his friends through the mail because he finds it funny.
This particular time the man takes some lettuce to the post office to ship to a friend from back home.
He tries to package it up but it won't fit unless he cuts it into smaller peices. He cuts it up and stuffs it in a large envelope, however he forgets to write out and attach a shipping label. He doesn't realize his mistake at the time and brings it to the counter to send.
The postal workers says: "You can't send a salad like that, it needs adressing".
What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
What did the ice cream cone write on his valentine card?
You make me melt.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
What is the best way to make gold soup? By adding 22 carrots in it.
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
The informant obtained their information by burying themselves in the ground, disguised with a crown and some rind. Police called him the pineapple plant.
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
What do the ducks have for dinner? They have Quackers and soup.
The Japanese restaurant serves the best soups. It will always make miso happy.
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