How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
"Say you'll be wine."
Why did the farmer feed his pigs a mixture of sugar, vinegar, and soy sauce? He wanted sweet and sour pork.
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
Have you seen that awesome video of a Koala drinking tea high up in the trees?
It’s super high Koala-tea
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What is a monster's favorite food? Ghoul scout cookies.
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
Do you want to try my soup? I have enough for broth of us!
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
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Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
Why did the teapot get in trouble? Because he was Naught-Tea.
We’re a perfect mash.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
What kind of salad do termites eat?
House salad
"Partners in wine."
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
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