What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
What happened to the zombie that made him visit the doctor? He had a crummy feeling.
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
What do you call a male orange?
Mangerine!
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
What do you find if you hang from a cherry tree for hours and hours? You find that your arms get sore.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
Picking strawberries can be a very fruitful endeavor!
Why is it called Almond Milk?
Because no one would buy it if it was called Nut Juice.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
I have been trying to write a new pizza joke…
But I can’t work out the delivery.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
"Sip, sip hooray."
The peach couple from school is totally in love. They seem so perfect for peach other.
I loved the soup that they served at the local restaurant yesterday. It was simply pho-nomenol.
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
What a spud muffin.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
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