What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
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