My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
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