I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
What kind of evidence can a donut not take to trial?
Anecdoughtal evidence.
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
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