A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
What kind of evidence can a donut not take to trial?
Anecdoughtal evidence.
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
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