What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.