The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
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