What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!