No need to toss and turn all night looking for the perfect Salad Pun, here you go!

I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
What do horses like to put on their egg salad sandwiches?
MayoNAYS!
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
What kind of salad do termites eat?
House salad
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
Why was the salad late to the dinner party?
He was waiting for his wife to get dressing.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
My DJ friend took my advice and simplified his salad recipe.
he dropped the beet.
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
This joke is like the time I slipped and fell into a salad.
Corny on the Cobb.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
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