I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
I like you a latke!
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
I love you a tot!
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
We’re a perfect mash.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees