What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Time fries when you’re having fun!
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
We’re a perfect mash.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.