Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
We’re a perfect mash.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
I like you a latke!
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Potato puns are a-peeling.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
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