“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
I love you a tot!
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
I like you a latke!
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