Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
Q: Why did the fruit go to the salon?
A: To peach her hair blonde.
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
Unlike peaches, nectarines don't have any fuzz, because they suffer from Alo-peach-ea.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
Whenever the peach father gets mad at his son, he just screams loudly: “You are the son of a peach!”
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
One should always practice what they peach.
"I just want some peach and quiet!," said the orange.
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
I met him yesterday, he was on his way to meet the counselor for a peach therapy session.
While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
Q: What’s a nectarine?
A: A peach with balding problems.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite game, it's peach ball.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
What do peach soldiers say to each other before they are sent into combat? – “Good luck and make sure you come back in one peach!”
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
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